I’ve been thinking about titles for the last couple of days. No, not those sort of titles! Not the Countess of Whatever or Lord Whoever or (descending down the social scale) The Reverend, Doctor or plain Mister, Missus or Ms.
No, I’m talking about book titles.
You see. titles are really important and it’s sometimes surprising for anyone who hasn’t written a book to find out that the poor writer can have cheerfully motored through hundreds of pages, thousands of words, zillions of re-writes and still doesn’t know what to call the ruddy thing.
It doesn’t always happen like that, of course. Inspiration struck almost right away with As If By Magic because it seemed to sum up the whole idea behind the book so neatly. It’s also a well-known phrase which (I hope) makes a prospective reader think they’ve heard of it, even when they haven’t.
The trouble is, a title has to mean something, and not just be a nice collection of random words. It has to say something about the story, not actively put off any of those rare, almost faun-like creatures, book-buyers, and - this is a bonus – sound good.
The latest of Jack’s adventures, which I’ve just sent in to the publishers, concerns a firm of coffee importers embroiled in various dark and underhand doings. When I thought of title Trouble Brewing I had a warm, fluffy feeling of satisfaction of having got it exactly right, but it took some considerable cogitation. Good, eh?
Off The Record is about gramophones and the race to develop a commercial electrical recording system. That’s OK. Dead clever, actually.
A Hundred Thousand Dragons is actually (obliquely I admit) about a hundred thousand dragons and sounds ace.
Mad About The Boy? is, of course, from the song by Noel Coward. It’s the right period, reflects Isabelle’s emotional turmoil as she tries to choose the right bloke, one of the aforesaid blokes is a Bit Odd (aka Mad) and that shrewdly placed question mark is meant to give a frisson of anticipation.
I wish, sometimes, I’d gone for broke and used Jack’s name in the title, such as Jack Haldean and the Murder in the Fortune-Teller’s Tent (it was actually called A Fete Worse Than Death) rather in the style of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone. Actually, I don’t half wish I had written a book called Jack Haldean and the Philosopher’s Stone, but some bright spark would probably say I’d copied it or something. They’d probably say the same thing if I turned out Jack Haldean and Pride and Prejudice or even Jack Haldean and the Flopsy Bunnies. You know how people are.
But I didn’t.
Oh dear, those school Latin lessons! Declining and conjugating (which sounds like a summary of scenes from a French film.) As to names, having never read any Harry Potter (I suppose I ought to add "yet", but I've no immediate plans to,) I hadn't realised the possibilities inherent in Dolores. I always thought of it as exotic - in fact till I met you, I'd have said anyone called Dolores was likely to be Dolores Da Silva, a South American heiress, rich beyond the dreams of avarice...that's what the name conjured up. Perhaps that's your true identity, and being a good fiction writer, you've made yourself a double life? In which case, when the next silver mine dividends pay out, don't forget your friends. Meanwhile, I reckon Dolores is a more exciting handle than Jane, anyhow.
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