The Goldfish From Glasgow

It was Elspeth who started it.  When she rang up from Glasgow to say she’d bought two goldfish (CJ and Marylyn) I chirruped happily down the phone to her about goldfish.   We’d had goldfish some time ago.  Lazarus, who changed his name after I brought him back from the dead by giving him the kiss of life (you blow air through a straw over the finny friend’s gills) and Warty Pete, who lived up to his name (he could have been an extra on Blackadder) who lived a long, long time.

So Elspeth = 2 goldfish = Fine.  Until she wanted to bring them home for the holidays.  We’d long since got rid of the watery home that contained Lazarus and Warty Pete.  No problem, I said.  We’ll buy a new tank.

The expense? said The Other Half.

Sorted, I assured him. We’ll buy a cheap plastic tank.  Don’t worry.

So the kids and I went shopping.

Well, you know how it is.  Once actually in the shop (and I’m a bit of pushover for this sort of thing anyway) the My First Fishtank and the one with Spongebob Squarepants decals seemed a bit naff compared to an elegant glass cube, complete with LED lights and a combined air pump and filter. And once we’d got it home, filled it with gravel and planted it up, it looked lovely.  If Barbara Hepworth had designed fishtanks, they’d look like this. It was, I have to admit, just a tadge more expensive than I’d bargained for.

There were grumbles within the Home.

Especially when, struck by just how nice it did look, my mind turned to tropical fish.  Before the Warty Pete era, we’d kept tropical fish. I can’t say they ever did frightfully well, as they seemed to drop dead with grim regularity, but, before they made the great change, they did look nice.  Maybe this time it would be different???  After all, it was so posh,  it seemed a bit elaborate for a holiday home for two visiting goldfish.

So I added a heater to the elegant glass cube and popped in five guppies.

What about the expense? said The Other Half.  What about the goldfish?

Sorted, I assured him. We’ll buy a cheap plastic tank.  Don’t worry.

So that’s what I did (that’s what, perhaps, I should have done in the first place, I know)  adding, to turn a bog-standard B+B for goldfish into something more resembling a luxury holiday let, a pump and filter, some plants and a little arch for them to swim through.  CJ and Marylyn are, even as I write, disporting themselves happily on the windowsill of the kitchen.

But what about the guppies in their elegant cube? Fate had slipped the lead into the boxing glove and was waiting in the wings…

TO BE CONTINUED….